Do you fight the bastard for three hours to get yourself up for a 20-minute workout? The last meals were anything but figure-friendly? Hook on it. Time to reset your mind with these 68 funny quotes.
I love this story …
Two youngsters Fish swim their way. By chance they meet an older fish coming towards them.
The old man nods at them and says: “Moin guys, how is the water?”
Die two young fish swim on for a moment without a word, until one looks at the other and says, “What the hell is water?”
Sometimes we are so caught up in our own way of thinking that we need a change of perspective – maybe even internalize new invisible scripts.
Regardless of whether you share the views of the following celebrities or not – the quotes can help you view your current situation from a distance: “Hook it, let’s go!”
Also, some of them are pretty funny. And fitness is only half as fun without humor – at least that’s what I think.
Curtain up for the concentrated wisdom of famous personalities, loosely sorted by topic:
Let’s go.
Quotes about motivation
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, the same goes for bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
Problems knocked on the door. But when they heard laughter, they ripped off.
Benjamin Franklin
The elevator to success is out of order. You have to take the stairs, one step at a time.
Joe Girard
You can’t achieve anything if you want to achieve everything.
Solomon Schechter
Never follow the path of others. Unless you are lost in the forest and see a way. Then definitely take this route.
Ellen DeGeneres
Most people miss opportunities because opportunities wear work clothes and look like an effort.
Thomas A. Edison
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito in the room.
Dalai Lama
Funny quotes about problems
Laughing at your own mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at others’ mistakes can make it shorter.
Cullen Hightower
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein
Better not to say anything and be mistaken for stupid than to open your mouth and prove it.
Abraham Lincoln
A mistake is like fertilizer. It certainly stinks, but it also accelerates growth.
Dennis Waitley
Remember, today is the morning you were worried about yesterday.
Dale Carnegie
If you don’t know where you are going, be careful. You may not get there.
Yogi Berra
Every time you feel drawn into other people’s drama, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Polish proverb
If something doesn’t work, try again. Then stop and do something else. There’s no damn reason to go crazy about anything.
W. C. Fields
Do you know what the problem is in real life? The danger music is missing.
Jim Carrey
There must be no crisis next week. My schedule is full.
Henry Kissinger
I always walk around as if everything is okay. But deep down there, in my shoe, my sock slips off my foot.
Unknown
Someone asked me which book I would take with me if I was stranded on a desert island. My answer: “How to build a boat.”
Steven Wright
Quotes about age
Good advice is given by someone too old to set a bad example.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A financial expert told me to buy these stocks because they tripled in value every year. My answer: “At my age I don’t even buy green bananas.”
Claude Pepper
Maybe I’m a living legend. But what good is fame when I have a record?
Roy Orbison
You know you get old when you tie your shoes and ask yourself what else you can do down there.
George Burns
As you get older, three things change. First, your memory suffers. And I can’t think of the other two right now.
Sir Norman Wisdom
You grew up the day you laughed at yourself for the first time.
Ethel Barrymore
If you get over 100, you’ve made it. Very few die over this age limit.
George Burns
Funny quotes about food
My coach thinks that doing things through is the way to inner peace. After two bags of M & Ms and a chocolate cake, I have to say: I’m really feeling better.
Dave Barry
If that was coffee, please bring me some tea; but if it was tea, please bring me some coffee.
Abraham Lincoln
I am just noticing that my diet consists mainly of things my child did not eat.
Carrie Underwood
I come from a rough neighborhood. Once someone drew a knife in my presence. I knew he wasn’t a professional – there was butter on the knife.
Rodney Dangerfield
The most unpleasant thing about shopping on the internet is having to get up and get your credit card.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not to put them in a fruit salad.
Miles Kington
Quotes about responsibility
One thing struck me: Even those who believe that everything is predetermined and cannot change anything, look right and left before they hit the road cross.
Stephen Hawking
Think about it: Why do we never read a headline like “fortune teller wins the lottery” in the newspaper? “
Jay Leno
Have you ever noticed that everyone who drives slower than you is an idiot – and everyone who drives faster is crazy?
George Carlin
If you could kick the person who is responsible for most of your problems in the ass, you could not sit for a month.
Theodore Roosevelt
Some people say life is short, you could be run over by a truck at any moment and have to live every day like it was your last. Nonsense. Life is long. You will probably never get run over by a truck. And have to live with the decisions you make for the next 50 years.
Chris Rock
When I hear someone say, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”
Sydney J. Harris
Funny quotes about money
A good rule for life: Never pay attention to money when it comes to cosmetic surgery and sushi.
Graham Norton
Inflation is when you pay $ 15 for a $ 10 haircut that cost $ 5 when you had hair.
Sam Ewing
Trying to become happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to get full by tying sandwiches to your body.
George Carlin
Quotes about fellow men
Friends are people who know you really well – and still like you. ”
Greg Tamblyn
Tactitude is the ability to see others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
There’s nothing like a friend. Except for a friend with chocolate.
Linda Grayson
One of the advantages of good friends is that you can do stupid things around them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to own it, but it is unnecessary to show it off.
Bill Murray
Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.
Oscar Wilde
Behind every famous man there is a woman who doesn’t take him too seriously.
Jim Carrey quote>
Don’t be so modest – you are not that great.
Golda Meir
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
Anthony Burgess
If you tell people the truth, be funny – or they’ll kill you.
Billy Wilder
I never forget a face – but in your case I am happy to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
I grew up with six brothers. This is how I learned to dance: While waiting in front of the bathroom.
Bob Hope
Funny quotes about life
I am an old man and have experienced a lot of bad things. Fortunately, most of it never happened.
Mark Twain
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy
The surest sign that there is extraterrestrial intelligence somewhere in the universe is that it has never contacted us.
Bill Watterson
You always know when someone is well informed: His point of view is pretty much your own.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If you cry at my funeral, I’ll never talk to you again.
Stan Laurel
Common sense and humor are the same thing, at different speeds. Humor is nothing but common sense that dances.
William James
A day without a laugh is a wasted day.
Charlie Chaplin
Never go to a doctor’s office where the plants have dried out.
Erma Bombeck
A black cat that crosses your path means that the animal wants to go somewhere.
Groucho Marx
Common sense is like deodorant. If you need it most, you never use it.
Unknown
Quotes about the truth
What do people find on Facebook? It used to be a punishment to have to look at other people’s vacation photos.
Betty White
Before you marry someone, let them use a computer with a slow internet connection to see who they really are.
Will Ferrell
A lie travels around the world three times before the truth even has its shoes on.
Winston Churchill
Only stupid people try to impress the smart. Smart people just do what they do.
Chris Rock
My views may have changed. But not the fact that I’m right.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Conclusion
Suppose that from now on you take 5, 10 or 15 minutes every day to read, hear or look at something that makes you laugh. Or at least to smile.
I call it a humor break. Why the whole thing?
Because, in my experience, you make sticking to your fitness goals so much easier. Laughter is stress relief, relaxation and regeneration in one.
It also helps you to shift the focus away from your problems – towards your goals. So that you can move from brooding to action even more easily in the future.
I hope this article served its purpose – and brightened your mood.
If not, I recommend: Just start laughing, even if there’s nothing to laugh about at the moment … that’s training, I know.
But it can be trained.